The Dissolution of Marriage

I write today in sadness. In the last week I have heard of 3 new divorces/separations between couples that I would have never imagined would do such a thing. When I look at society's view of divorce it seems as if it is being glorified and lifted up recently. This makes my heart feel heavy and disappointed.

This is not a gripe blog however, it has a purpose. The first being to lift up the couples who are going through the turmoil and destruction that divorce brings. Please take the time now to pray for these couples:

The young couple: This couple has just been married for a short 3 years. They have recently gone through some tough changes including a physical distance between each other. May the Lord instill in them a desire to be closer and a desire to follow Him.

The middle aged couple with young children: This couple has endured the brunt of society's watchful eye. Pray that the Lord instill their once strong faith in Him and bring the maturity they both need to keep the commitment of their marriage.

The empty nesters: This couple no longer supports children at home but has lived a lifetime together. May the Lord lay His hand on their situation and may His will be done.

Next, I would like to start something new. Each night, Brandon and I are going to pray for a different couple that we know through church, work, friendships, family, etc. We will pray that the Lord keeps them close together and grows their marriages into what they could not even fathom. I would like to encourage you and your spouse to do the same. I feel that if we can try to undo some of the societal influences then we are better off because of it.

Last night Brandon and I read a part of Max Lucado's book, 3:16 The Numbers of Hope, where Max is talking about agape love.

Agape Love. Less an affection, more a decision; less a feeling, more an action... I saw a shard of such love between an elderly man and woman who have been married for fifty years. The last decade has been marred by her dementia. The husband did the best he could to care for his wife at home, but she grew sicker; he older. So he admitted her to full-time care.

One day he asked me to visit her, so I did. Her room was spotless, thanks to his diligence. She, horizontal on the bed, was bathed and dressed, though going nowhere. "I arrive at 6:15 a.m.," he beamed. "You'd think I was on the payroll. I feed her, bathe her, and stay with her. I will until one of us dies." Agape love....

What is this love that endures decades? Call it agape love, a love that bears a semblance of God's.

This tells me one simple thing. If our marriages are to succeed then we must try to love our spouse as God loves us. This is not an easy task and we are not going to be perfect at it however we can keep trying. And I believe that it is the trying that makes up the covenant of marriage. No one promised us it would be easy.

Finally, the last thing Brandon and I are going to do is pray for our own marriage. Everyone's heard the phrase, "The couple that prays together stays together." Brandon and I are going to commit to one another that no matter what happens and where God leads us, we will come to Him in prayer for each step of the way.

I used to think that we had skipped over the "honeymoon" stage and that we had moved right on into the "old married couple" stage. I am happy to say that I've changed my mind and I'm very satisfied with that. Brandon and I still have a lot to learn about each other and let's face it: marriage is hard. But every morning when I wake up and experience the joy of having my best friend lying next to me, or every afternoon when I can't wait to get home from work to see my husband... or during the day when I notice how worldly men act and treat their wives in comparison to being treated like a queen by my husband... I thank God that Brandon is my husband... and I hope so greatly that I get to keep these feelings well on into the "old married couple" stage.

But if I don't, I have the happy memories of burp contests on the couch, cuddling after a bad dream, and lazy Saturdays to keep me going. But most importantly, I have the faith that God will bring us through the hard times- together- and stronger because of it.